I feel like abortions should bother me more
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
