she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
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And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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