so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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