i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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