Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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