is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
