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• (313): View more from Michigan

  lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...

  (703): View more from Virginia

  oh

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

  Fav 42 1109 2929

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.

  Fav 4 1612 789

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.

  Fav 2 80 17

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