lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
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No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
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That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.