WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Randomize
