Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
