Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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