Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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