Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
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Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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