Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
