I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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