you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
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He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
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Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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