What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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