scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
