nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
