hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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