In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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