wrigley field is MILF paradise
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
