Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
