something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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