Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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