Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
