i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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