ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
