dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
