Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
