My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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