you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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