im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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