I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
