So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
ok first of all what the fuck
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
