O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
