Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
