I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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