Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
