He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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