It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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