So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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