After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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