One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
