Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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