Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
