I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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