okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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