garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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