This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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