I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
