thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
