But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Reggie can tackle my bush.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
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All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
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This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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