Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
