oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
