Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
