i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My pussy is not your playground.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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