matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My balls are so social today.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
